The hard old days

By RAY DAY
Guest columnist

March 07, 2008 08:51 pm

— As time goes by and our memories start to fade, we remember how it was to live in the old days and how it was for those before us. The rough road walked by our grandparents, with the harsh winters and the hot summers, must have been something most today hope that they will not have in their lifetimes.
Getting your drinking water from the creek a few miles away. Washing the clothes in the creek or bringing enough water to the house to do it. Using the outhouse in that cold winter and then getting back to the house before you froze. Entertainment that came from doing a little dancing and reading and maybe playing cards, if your beliefs allowed you to. Getting up so early in the morning, it was still dark out, and you had to go to feed the chickens, milk the cows, or to set out onto the fields to till it for planting.
Sounds very harsh, doesn’t it? Well, my grandmothers always said that it was a part of their lives and it was the only show in town. They didn’t think it was so bad because they knew that their parents and grandparents had it much more rough. So as time went by and the offspring became parents, they knew that nothing could be worse than what their folks had it.
That takes it to my time as a child and as a parent later, and although things were not so rosy, it was a lot better than those before had it. My folks did without many times so that the children might have that extra bite of food, or that extra blanket on the bed. But the one thing they did not come up short on was the training that they gave us in being able to survive without them.
No one wants to ever think about being alone and trying to make their life one without Mom and Dad there to lend that support that was there for the last 18 years. But it will come to pass one day, and you have to be prepared to be without them. That is where the training set forth by our mother came to pass for each of us, and which allowed us to go out into life on our separate paths in search of our destiny.
We were taught to cook, to sew, to clean house, and to accept any hardship that might fall in our paths. We were taught to respect all others and that what the elders said was the truth. We were taught to obey the laws of the land but not be afraid to challenge those laws that were unjust.
Dad always told me that it was wrong to pick a fight, and that to walk away sometimes was the best way to settle things. But he also said that if I was going to challenge someone else, I’d better be ready to back it up. And if it came to blows, then I’d better be the first one to hit hard enough to knock the other man down, and then get in a finishing blow that was good enough to give me time to take off running. Because if I didn’t, the other man was going to beat the daylights out of me.
Mom didn’t like for Dad to say those things because she believed in turning the other cheek. But also, she always said that you only have two cheeks to turn and then you just have to find a way to settle the problem. I knew what she meant, but I also knew that both Mom and Dad were peace-loving parents who just wanted their kids to be safe.
I guess that I could talk and write about our mother and father all day, because I and my brothers and sisters loved them so much. I could be selfish and wish they were still here with us, but they are at home with God, and there isn’t a better place to be. Each of us will make that trip one day, and we should be prepared and have our bags packed.
See you later.
Ray “Uncle Ray” Day of Kokomo is a weekly contributor to the Kokomo Tribune. He can be reached at uncleray@skyenet.net.