Published: November 03, 2009 10:24 pm      

BENNETT: A Bob Dylan Christmas album? It’s true

By-the-book arrangements make for pleasantly jolting surprise

I’m picturing holiday weather outside frosty windows, and a party inside. Friends grab handfuls of trail mix. Diet Cokes fizz in plastic cups. Wine gets sipped. Tree lights shine. Tony Bennett’s “Snowfall” album ends, and somebody randomly grabs another yuletide CD and pops it into the player.

Within seconds, people exchange glares, shocked and slack-jawed, as if one of the other guests just made good on a threat to pop out his own eyeball.

But, no, instead, it’s Bob Dylan’s new “Christmas in the Heart” album crackling — literally — through the stereo speakers.

Yes, this “what-the-heck?” disc is a pleasantly jolting surprise. One cannot listen to Dylan wheeze “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” and not feel changed by it. Hearing his gravelly promise that “you can plan on me” may evoke tears for some, or the urge to file a restraining order in others. Either way, Dylan’s renditions of these 15 Christmas standards will be the life (or death) of your party. It depends on your musical palate.

You’ll either love it or snap it in half.

Open-minded, longtime Dylan aficionados will admire his chutzpah. Clearly, at age 68, he’s still capable of provoking thought. In our wildest imaginations, few baby boomers could envision Bob Dylan — the surly, sullen and angry master of eviscerating protest songs — cheerfully reminiscing about “chestnuts roasting on an open fire” in Mel Torme’s classic “Christmas Song.”

Folks mildly aware that Dylan grew up as Robert Zimmerman, a Jewish kid from Hibbing, Minn., might be confused by his decision to record an album containing Christian standards such as “Hark the Herald, Angels Sing,” “The First Noel,” “Little Drummer Boy,” “O Little Town of Bethlehem” and others.

And some will scratch their heads, wondering why Dylan bypassed his jangling guitar sound for beautifully orchestrated, sentimental, by-the-book Christmastime arrangements.

There are answers to some of those riddles. Dylan possesses an affection for Americana music. If you’ve ever heard his satellite radio show, Bobby Z the spin master might play Billie Holiday one minute, and polka the next. He’s also not the first artist of Jewish background to craft Christmas music; singer Barbra Streisand and songwriter Irving Berlin did so long ago. Besides, Dylan famously converted, for a time, to Christianity in the early 1980s.

Yet, all of that may be more analysis of “Christmas in the Heart” than is necessary. Though it’s impossible to read the mind of a guy who methodically evades explanations of his work, it seems as if Dylan just wanted to make a warm, entertaining Christmas album, and raise funds for a good cause. (All of the U.S. royalties from this album go to the hunger agency Feed America.)

If skeptics suspect that Dylan — always two steps ahead of his most ardent observers — recorded this disc tongue-in-cheek, they won’t find any tangible evidence. (The one exception, perhaps, is the painting of a girl in Victoria’s Secret-style Santa garb on the inside of the otherwise Rockwell-ish CD jacket.)

He opens “O Come All Ye Faithful” with its original Latin lyrics, before switching to English. (Some people who’ve witnessed the 21st-century Dylan in concert may have wondered if he was singing in foreign languages, at times. But in those cases, it was just Bob being Bob, heaving up familiar verses in his throat-clearing rasp.) His melancholy cover of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” is as touching — really — as James Taylor’s memorable version. The closing track, “O Little Town of Bethlehem,” features sweet backing guitars, gentle piano and soaring background singers. It concludes with Dylan crooning “amen.”

Unsuspecting listeners, especially those at your December party, may overhear the “Christmas in the Heart” album and figure it’s a parody, with some comic pretending to be Bob Dylan singing “Here Comes Santa Claus.” Indeed, after the songs begin with schmaltzy, traditional musical introductions, Dylan’s opening vocals can be as subtle as a Taser.

Still, after two or three spins, “Christmas in the Heart” gets better, not unlike a fruitcake. Of course, most fans would instead pick “Highway 61 Revisited,” “Blonde on Blonde” or “Blood on the Tracks” as their desert-island Dylan album. But what if your shipwreck happens during the holidays? Hearing Bob’s jarring vow of “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” over and over again will have you working on that bamboo life raft harder than Gilligan and the Skipper ever dreamed of.

• Mark Bennett writes for the Tribune-Star in Terre Haute. He can be reached at mark.bennett@tribstar.com.