We moved on. “What else have you been reading, Emil?” I asked.
“Well, I see that the Republicans are accusing the Democrats of running a dirty campaign, and the Democrats are denying it and saying that the Republicans are running the dirty campaign.”
“I can’t believe it,” Elmer stated emphatically. “How could THIS be in the news? Can you guys remember any presidential election when things were different?”
“You know, Elmer,” I interjected, “lots of times you say stuff that is off the wall, at least in my opinion. And I just let it pass. But this time, you are right on. Bravo. Why IS this in the news?”
“Easy,” replied Emil, “slow news week. But I find this even stranger: People are watching the unemployment rate. They are saying that if the rate goes up, Obama is sunk. If it goes down, Romney is sunk. Do you think that’s the way it is?”
“Might be,” added Elmer. “Do you remember when it was George H. against Clinton? Desert Storm slowed down the recovery from that nasty recession; right after Clinton was elected, even before he was sworn in, the unemployment rate went down. People said if it would have gone down a month earlier, Bush would have won.”
“Yep, I guess Saddam got back at George H., didn’t he?” I added. “But I don’t know that this one is so simple. The whole gay marriage thing is in the arena, the deficit, unemployment, Obamacare. The war in Afghanistan. It’s complicated. Some people are for or against all those things; other people are for some of this and that.”
“Well, Ed, what would you do if somehow tomorrow you found yourself president of the United States?” inquired Elmer.
“I think I know what I would do. First thing is I would throw a big party and meet all the famous and important people I could. We’d have filet mignon, lobster and the works.”
“Well, what would be the second thing?” Elmer asked.
“Easy,” I replied. “I’d resign and let the vice president take over.”
• Ed Vasicek is pastor of Highland Park Church and a weekly contributor to the Kokomo Tribune. Contact him at email@example.com.