“Mary Ellen, look at this Samsung Smart TV … 65 inches: $750, including a stand and a free poinsettia, no payments for a year and free delivery. What idiots we were. We paid $950 eight months ago. Now we’re sitting in a flowerless room with a really dumb 55-inch TV and a neighbor who’s still in a neck brace after helping us haul it into the house. And what about the three-piece sectional couch we bought in February?”
“Yes, it’s a beautiful sofa and it was a really good deal.”
“Well, here’s the same exact one, Mary Ellen, but with an extra section for the same price. And you get twelve pillows instead of eight.
“We’ve already shoved four of the pillows under the bed, Dick, and if that couch had another section, we’d have to store it in the basement crawlspace.”
“I know, I know, Mary Ellen, but I just feel so stupid that we went out and bought things that we actually needed. We are such idiots. We have to learn to be better shoppers.”
Of all the deals we missed, the one that annoyed me the most was the Maytag 28 cubic foot French-door refrigerator in stainless steel for $1,100, plus a $200 rebate and a nifty spray to clean smudges off the surface. “Oh my gosh, we paid more than that for a no-name two years ago,” I shrieked. “We should have waited till Black Friday, Mary Ellen.”
“Waited? All the food in our old fridge was rotting, Dick. The meat and ice cream in the freezer were melting.”
I tried to explain this money-saving strategy to her again. But I’m dealing with a woman who has absolutely no idea the best time of the year to shop.
Dick Wolfsie is a television news reporter, syndicated humor columnist and author. He can be reached at Wolfsie@aol.com.