Kokomo Tribune; Kokomo, Indiana

Columns

March 3, 2013

Vasicek; ‘Top this’ news story contest turns up some winners

I put on the coffee pot just as the doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it honey,” I shouted to the Mrs., “that’s Emil. We’re going to have another ‘top this’ news story contest.”

Marylu offered to join us for the event. I was surprised, since I thought she had no interest in such a contest. I certainly didn’t mind. If she was bored, so be it: after all, she was getting the worst of it when she married me.

“Come on in, Emil. I’m ready to go – but I just plugged in the coffee pot,” I explained, nearly tripping over a throw rug.

“Ed,” Emil commented as he sat, “you are the only person I know who has an electric percolator. Why do you like it so much?”

“Well,” I explained, “First, I like my coffee hot, and percolators bring the water to a boil.  Second, cheap coffee tastes good in a percolator, third, I don’t have to buy filters. And fourth, I like to hear it perk.”

“Funny,” he replied, “I thought you did that to irritate the gourmet crowd with their French presses and Kenyan A gourmet coffees.”

“That’s reason number five,” I confessed with embarrassment. “Anyhow, bring any articles worthy of the challenge?”

“Sure do,” Emil responded. Here’s one from the New York Times. You can now buy a home solar-power system at Honda. They have a deal with SolarCity; I guess if you buy a Honda, you can also buy a solar system to provide electricity for your home.  Let me read the article to you:

“‘In a typical arrangement, a company provides a system at little or no cost in exchange for a long-term contract in which the customer pays a fixed fee for the electricity generated, set at less than the customer would pay for power from the local utility. The solar price often rises over the life of the agreement, which can last 20 years.’”

“Wow,” I replied, “Things are really changing.”

“Not that much,” chimed in Marylu. “My mother had a solar powered clothes dryer before I was born?”

“Really?” Emil spoke with surprise.

“Yep,” Marylu replied. “It was called a clothes line.”

“Okay, let’s move on” (after all, she stole that joke from me, and, since I can’t remember who I stole it from, I consider it mine). “Now it’s my turn. How about this one from the Sideshow?

“A California lawyer said guards in a San Diego jail forgot about him—and that he was trapped for hours inside a locked waiting room.

“‘I know it takes a while to get the people, so I’m patient,” Lopez said. “I don’t have my cellphone with me because the policy is you can’t use a cellphone inside.’

“After a half an hour, however, Lopez became concerned and tried to alert guards using an intercom...

The lawyer spent more than four hours inside the locked waiting room before a guard heard him and unlocked the door.”

“Crazy,” Emil replied. “Pretty good article. And I’m proud of you. You resisted the temptation to throw in a crummy lawyer joke.”

“I’ve got an article!” Marylu offered. This time I was shocked!  Marylu rarely competes with me, but when she does, I am doomed.

“Let’s hear it,” Emil responded while I grieved my imminent loss.

“This is from UPI,” she offered:

“A 101-year-old man who has been in nine marathons since taking up distance running when he was 89 said he retired after a weekend race in Hong Kong.

“Fauja Singh, whose running and style of dress earned him the title ‘Turbaned Tornado,’ said Sunday’s 6.2-mile race was his final competitive run, CNN reported Monday. Singh said he completed the Hong Kong event in 32 minutes and 28 seconds, shaving 4 minutes off his time from last year.”

“I can’t believe that!” I gasped. How can a 101 year old man run that fast?”

Emil changed the tone: “And I think we know who won the contest.”

I smiled. Both Emil and I were gracious losers.

Ed Vasicek is pastor of Highland Park Church and a weekly contributor to the Kokomo Tribune. Contact him at edvasicek@att.net.

1
Text Only | Photo Reprints
Columns
  • DAVE BANGERT: Indiana's new chief justice and court's 'mom question' Two years ago, as Loretta Rush ascended from Tippecanoe Superior Court 3 judge to the state’s Supreme Court, I dropped this line in a column celebrating someone who had earned her place.“Across the state, the headline will be: ‘[Mitch] Daniels Choose

    August 14, 2014

  • JEFFREY McCALL: POTUS promises of transparency fail to materialize The United States system of government relies on citizens having full access to information that can be used in self-governance. Journalists and other First Amendment advocates were enthused when the Obama administration came into office with convinc

    August 14, 2014

  • Rob Burgess House of Burgess: RIP Robin Williams

    I was re-watching the 2006 movie “Little Miss Sunshine” Monday when I heard my phone buzz. After the credits had rolled, I looked at the screen and found myself shocked.It was a news alert that Robin Williams had died that morning at the age of 63 of an apparent suicide.

    August 13, 2014 1 Photo

  • ANDREA NEAL: 'Paddle Your Own Canoe' is a Hoosier inspiration

    Editor’s note: This is one in a series of essays leading up to the celebration of the Indiana Bicentennial in December 2016. James Whitcomb Riley was the most acclaimed, but he wasn’t the first Hoosier poet to gain national fame. Sarah T. Bolton dese

    August 13, 2014

  • DAVE BANGERT: Rokita, illegal immigration, Ebola outbreak and context At first listen last Monday, there was something so unsavory about our congressman, Todd Rokita, whipping up two full-fledged crises — Central American children at the U.S. southern border and the African scourge of Ebola — into one pungent sound bit

    August 12, 2014

  • DAN COATS: Let's give nonprofits relief from IRS delays A flurry of scandal has recently surrounded the Internal Revenue Service.Over the past few months, we have learned about missing emails from IRS employees and revelations of clear bias and hostility by a top IRS official towards organizations with ce

    August 12, 2014

  • BRIAN HOWEY: Pitchforks and pikes in our summer of discontent Congress is ... embarrassing. Our political system is failing us. On an individual basis, many of us have respect for members of our delegation. We can have a common sense conversation with a senator, congressman or congresswoman, and then they go ba

    August 11, 2014

  • DICK WOLFSIE: Enough reminders to forget It began with a simple phone call to my friend, Auri, a computer geek I asked to help me with my very successful website, which right now is attracting up to three visitors a month. To have a strong online presence, you have to spend several hours a

    August 11, 2014

  • ED VASICEK: Outsourced jobs, health crises in foreign lands The other week, my Internet was giving me trouble. I called the support number, and — to my surprise — I spoke to a representative who sounded as American as apple pie. It turned out the technical problem was an oversight on my end and fixed quickly.

    August 10, 2014

  • MICHAEL HICKS: Dodging corporate taxes Corporations are among our oldest institutions. Something like a joint stock company probably triggered the earliest formal written communication — the accounting ledger. It should be unsurprising that the early traders of Mesopotamia used a corporat

    August 10, 2014

Latest news
Featured Ads
Only on our website
AP Video
Furry Roommates: Dorms Allowing Cats and Dogs Chase Rice Defends Bro-Country 'Jersey Shore Massacre' Pokes Fun at MTV Series Raw: Wash. Mudslides Close Roads, Trap Motorists DC's Godfather of Go-Go Honored Ukraine Calls Russian Convoy a 'direct Invasion' Girl Meets Her 'one in the World' Match Coal Gas Boom in China Holds Climate Risks Japan Landslide Rescuers Struggle in Heavy Rain Raw: Severe Floods, Fire Wrecks Indiana Homes Endangered Red Wolves Face Uncertain Future Raw: Russian Aid Convoy Arrives in Ukraine Okla. Policeman Accused of Sex Assaults on Duty Dominican Republic Bans Miley Cyrus Concert Raw: Israeli Air Strike in Gaza Raw: Bodies of MH17 Victims Arrive in Malaysia Attorney: Utah Eatery Had Other Chemical Burn
Parade
Magazine

Click HERE to read all your Parade favorites including Hollywood Wire, Celebrity interviews and photo galleries, Food recipes and cooking tips, Games and lots more.
Obituaries
Poll
Kelly Lafferty's video on Tom Miller