Caroline Price, a 17-year-old high school junior in Andover, Mass., loved Sandberg's book, "Lean In," and admires many of the women who have jumped on Ban Bossy. "But to me bossy isn't the same as leadership. Bossy people aren't people you want to follow. Leaders inspire us to be better versions of ourselves. Bossy means 'my way or the highway.' Leadership is when someone listens and encourages others around them," she said.
Sometimes, Price added, "leaders aren't just the loudest — the bossiest. There are different kinds of leaders — and some lead more quietly, or by consensus or by example and so on."
Like critics of Sandberg's Lean In movement urging working women to strive for leadership positions, the backlash against Ban Bossy is multifaceted.
Some detractors think girls and women of the bossy ilk should "own" the word rather than demand to be free of it, not unlike the way "queer" has been reclaimed as celebratory among many people who are LGBTQ, for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer or questioning their sexual identities.
Sandberg, Rice and other celebrity supporters of Ban Bossy recall how being called bossy made them feel diminished as kids and dinged their self-esteem, but what about kids who are not bossy, but are bossed around?
"The people who are bossy, sometimes they have an attitude," said Rose Wladis, 11, a Girl Scout and fifth-grader in New York (not at Hunter). "I think being a leader is kind of showing people what to do, but being nice about it and encouraging people and, like, setting an example for them. But bossiness is just telling someone what to do."
Koplewicz said research shows teen girls are more likely than boys to have symptoms of mental health issues, some related to low self-esteem. Yet girls also tend to do better than boys in school, getting better grades and earning degrees in higher numbers. Despite their academic success, women hold only a fraction of top executive positions, a point "Lean In" emphasizes.