Kokomo Tribune; Kokomo, Indiana

Features

May 15, 2014

Calm consistency cure to boy's aggressive behavior

Q: For the past few months, our usually compliant 4-year-old son has been having problems with defiant behavior at school. He often refuses to do what he is told by the teacher. What concerns us even more, however, is that he has recently had two episodes of aggressive behavior toward other children, both very well-behaved girls, and both during snack time. In the first incident, he stabbed a girl with a plastic fork when she told him that she said something he didn't like. The second incident occurred when he pushed a girl over some minor territorial dispute. When confronted by the teacher or us, he is very aware that these behaviors are not okay. We're at a loss as to why they have occurred in the first place and not clear on how to handle them.

A: Asking why a child is misbehaving in a certain way can be very distracting if not downright confusing. In most cases, any answer is going to be speculative. Furthermore, ten psychologists are going to come up with at least six different speculations, five of which are going to be plausible.

That being said, I will speculate. First, boys by nature are more aggressive than girls. Second, boys by nature are impulsive. Third, boys are more likely to respond physically rather than verbally to conflict. Girls talk; boys fight. Add those together and you get a boy who stabs a girl who says something he perceives as provocative and aggressively defends his territory (or what he thinks is his territory) when it is "violated."

Problems in preschool, when there are no such problems elsewhere, can indicate a mismatch between the child and the program. Defiance may be a child's reaction to an impatient teacher or an overly structured classroom (the rather ubiquitous result of over-regulation). If that's the case, behavior problems may miraculously disappear with a new school year.

Text Only | Photo Reprints
Features
  • Homes Decorating Retreats QA-18 [Duplicate] Inspired designs DALLAS (AP) — From airy beach houses filled with light to rustic retreats tucked into the mountains, vacation homes can lead to inspired decorating. "You love that place, that's why you're there. That's the place you want to go to relax," says Dallas

    August 21, 2014 2 Photos

  • ROSEMOND: Parents should take 5-year-old's 'touching' seriously Q: Our 5-year-old grandson sees his 5-year-old female first cousin from time to time. After they play for a while, he tells her he wants to “touch” her. This has happened twice in recent months. Her parents are very upset, but our grandson’s p

    August 21, 2014

  • Tech Tips MALVERN, Iowa (AP) — As my two-year contract with Verizon came to an end last month, I had to resist the company's various promotions and discounts. In accepting the offers, I'd have to give up Verizon's unlimited data plan, which lets me use the pho

    August 20, 2014

  • Ebola Plant Medicines-30 [Duplicate] Plant medicines NEW YORK (AP) — It's an eye-catching angle in the story of an experimental treatment for Ebola: The drug comes from tobacco plants that were turned into living pharmaceutical factories. Using plants this way — sometimes called "pharming" — can produc

    August 19, 2014 3 Photos

  • Food Labor Day-6 [Duplicate] Labor Day cookout ideas Burgers. Dogs. Steaks. Maybe some sausages. We know you’ve got the grilling part of your Labor Day cookout covered. So rather than mess with that, we’ll offer up some delicious sides that will complement whatever else you have on the menu.Start with

    August 18, 2014 1 Photo

  • Amish Cook shares wedding recipe To those of you who may have not read my last letter, my husband Daniel grew up in Danville, Ohio and most of my growing up years were spent here in Flat Rock, Illinois. People keep asking us how we met, being from different states and Amish at that

    August 18, 2014

  • Healton 01 Half a Century and Happy: The Healtons Lester Healton’s mother and Ethel Huse’s mother thought it would be a good idea that their kids met.They never had any intentions of playing matchmaker, or the two dating, much less marrying each other. They only wanted Lester to come out of his shel

    August 17, 2014 2 Photos

  • SeaWorld plans bigger killer whale environments NEW YORK (AP) — Stung by criticism of its treatment of killer whales, SeaWorld said Friday that it will build new, larger environments at its theme parks and will fund additional research on the animals along with programs to protect ocean health and

    August 17, 2014

  • Pets Jealousy-3 [Duplicate] Envious pets LOS ANGELES (AP) — When Shetland sheepdog Maggie comes home from the groomer, her owners praise and pet her shiny coat, much to the chagrin of pit bull Stormy, who will head-butt her until their family cuts out the compliments.“Stormy’s jealous,” sai

    August 16, 2014 2 Photos

  • You are God's masterpiece Consider how very special you are to God. You are like the clay that the potter uses to make priceless pieces to be shared and used. The potter will take a lump of clay and meticulously work with that piece of clay, knowing the masterpiece the piece

    August 16, 2014

Latest news
Featured Ads
Only on our website
AP Video
Okla. Policeman Accused of Sex Assaults on Duty Raw: Egypt Bus Crash Kills at Least 33 Two Bodies Found in Adjacent Yards Dominican Republic Bans Miley Cyrus Concert Raw: Israeli Air Strike in Gaza Raw: Rescue Efforts Suspended at Japan Landslide Raw: Bodies of MH17 Victims Arrive in Malaysia Raw: Smaller Marches in Ferguson Marathon Suspect's Friend Pleads Guilty Attorney: Utah Eatery Had Other Chemical Burn Farm Resurgence Grows With Younger Crowd Microbrewery Chooses Special Can for Its Beer Ky. Firefighters Hurt in Ice Bucket Challenge Federal Investigation Will Look at Use of Force Community Deals With Michael Brown Aftermath US: We Do Not Pay Ransom to Terrorists Ferguson Teachers Training to Deal With Trauma Jon Hamm on the Unrest in Ferguson Tit for Tat? McDonald's Shuttered in Moscow Life on the Professional Video Game Circuit
Parade
Magazine

Click HERE to read all your Parade favorites including Hollywood Wire, Celebrity interviews and photo galleries, Food recipes and cooking tips, Games and lots more.
Obituaries
Poll
Kelly Lafferty's video on Tom Miller