If for whatever reason you're not ready to toilet train, then the backup plan is to let his dad and grandparents change him as often as possible. When there's no alternate diaper changer available, then just change him, kicking and all. Don't say anything while doing so. Just work around his kicking as well as you can. To maintain your cool, try singing a song. May I suggest "19th Nervous Breakdown" by The Rolling Stones?
I remember going through the same thing with our son, who was also our first. We used cloth diapers with him. They required pins. His struggling was cured rather quickly after a few pins accidentally pricked his skin. The old technology did have its merits.