Kokomo Tribune; Kokomo, Indiana

[friday]

October 19, 2012

Is it hot in here?

Kokomo — Ahh, autumn. It’s the most beautiful time of year.

Mother Nature shows us the full spectrum of her creativity. There’s a crispness in the air, masked only by the faint smell of fall bonfires off in the distance.

It’s also, annoyingly, when the incessant complaining about my outfit starts.

Here’s the thing. I’m always hot. Always. Touch my arm and you’ll find it’s actually giving off heat.

Come to think of it, that might be a good way to make extra money on the side. I could stand in the middle of your house, acting as a heat source. “I’ll cut down your electric bills!” my marketing material will shout.

Anyway.

If I were to utter the words “I’m cold,” the calendar would read Dec. 21 and there would be, in fact, an apocalyptic event that ended the world. Provided we’d still be able to publish after said apocalypse, you would read about my utterance on the front page of the Kokomo Tribune. It would be that big of news. So much so that it would outshine the world’s demise. That we sorta saw coming. My being cold would be a revelation of epic proportions.

It just doesn’t happen. I just don’t get cold. I’ve been this way my whole life.

As a child, my family would literally burn me out of the house. In the dead of winter, to escape the oven I called home, I would stand on the front porch, bare feet against cold concrete. I would stand there long enough to recovery before returning to suffer through the inferno my family enjoyed.

When I grew up and became an “adult,” I basked in my independence. Not the ability to eat what I wanted or go to bed when I wanted. For the first time in my life, I was ruler over the thermostat. I resisted the urge to lord over it with a crown and velvet robe, swatting a jeweled staff at any minion who dared approach.

“This is my land,” I would declare to my subjects. “No heat shall pass!”

Anyway.

I wear flip flops and sandals until there is snow on the ground. Even then, there are exceptions to that rule. This results in friends, coworkers and people I pass on the street getting on me about my perceived lack of outerwear, saying something about it being “cold.”

Because of this, I bought a new coat a couple years back. It’s a pea coat-style, black number I get a lot of compliments on. Not so much on the style, but that I’m wearing a coat at all.

Everyone: Oh, I like your coat.

Me: Thanks!

Everyone: It’s so nice to see you actually wearing a coat because it’s so cold out.

Me: Yeah, I decided I should start dressing appropriately for winter. I’ve seen the errors of my way.

Everyone: Good job!

The trick is, though, this isn’t just any coat, mind you. It’s actually a light-weight sweatshirt material made to look like a winter coat.

I’m sneaky like that.

interim [friday] editor/a walking disco inferno

1
Text Only | Photo Reprints
[friday]
  • Ziliak, Lindsey Finding the light in the dark Amidst the endless “RIP Robin Williams” messages on social media this week, I spotted two posts that stood out for all of the wrong reasons.These two callous souls said no one should honor the late actor or mourn his death because suicide is selfish.

    August 15, 2014 1 Photo

  • NWS - bluegrassfest 08 Top acts performing at Winding Creek Bluegrass Festival

    Two local bluegrass musicians are bringing some of the country’s top bluegrass bands to Howard County next weekend for three days of music, food and camping.The Winding Creek Bluegrass Festival kicks off at 2 p.m. Aug. 22 at 100 S. 9980 West, Russiaville.

    August 15, 2014 1 Photo

  • This week's best bets Taste of KokomoLoosen your belts and head out to Foster Park from 5 to 10 p.m. Saturday to sample local cuisine at the annual Taste of Kokomo. Try foods like steak on a stick, fried alligator, peanut butter and jelly wings and fried green tomatoes wh

    August 15, 2014

  • Editor's Picks 1) Family-friendly comedy Professional speaker and humorist Jeanne Robertson performs at 7:30 p.m. Saturday at the Honeywell Center. She captivates audiences with her stories of friends, family and everyday situations with a hilarious twist. Whether

    August 15, 2014

  • Twelfth Night 04 KCT performing Shakespeare comedy This weekend Kokomo Civic Theatre will perform its first Shakespeare piece in 16 years.New KCT director Melody Pike is leading the way with Shakespeare’s comedy “Twelfth Night,” the ultimate battle of the sexes.There are shows at 8 p.m. tonight and S

    August 8, 2014 4 Photos

  • Ziliak, Lindsey Sorry, I don't know the answer My brain apparently thinks it has no use for useless facts. Or perhaps I am the world’s most inobservant person.Those are the only reasons I can come up with to explain away how terrible I am at trivia nights. I learned this Wednesday.My co-workers a

    August 8, 2014 1 Photo

  • This week's best bets 1) A night at the ball Daddies let your daughters get all dolled up and take them to Bona Vista's Cinderella Ball tonight at the Kokomo Country Club. There will be dinner, horse-drawn carriage rides, ballroom dance lessons, crafts and souvenirs from

    August 8, 2014

  • Editor's Picks 1) Murder Mystery Head to Lafayette tonight or Saturday to help solve a murder over dinner. The most popular mystery dinner show in the country, Murder at Cafe Noir, comes to Columbia Ballroom, 625 Columbia St., Lafayette. It has delighted audiences

    August 8, 2014

  • This week's best bets 1) Young Country Night Check out up-and-coming country artists Chris Lane, Chris Cavanaugh and Drew Baldridge as they perform a free show in Foster Park Friday night as part of the Kokomo Summer Concert Series Young Country Night. The show starts at

    August 1, 2014

  • Ziliak, Lindsey My kind of unlucky life So I was born unlucky. Wait. Scratch that. That’s not entirely true. Twenty-six years and eight months ago I was born into a middle class family with two parents who love me unconditionally. I had a mom who loved being around me and my siblings so mu

    August 1, 2014 1 Photo

Latest news
Featured Ads
Only on our website
AP Video
US Trying to Verify Video of American's Killing FBI Director Addresses Ferguson Shooting in Utah Raw: Police at Scene of St. Louis Shooting Police: 2 Calif. Boys Planned School Shooting NOLA Police Chief Retires Amid Violent Crimes Lunch Bus Delivers Meals to Kids Out of School Water Bottles Recalled for Safety Researcher Testing On-Field Concussion Scanners Rockets Fired From Gaza, in Breach of Ceasefire Raw: Japanese Military Live Fire Exercise Police, Protesters Clash in Ferguson Independent Autopsy Reveals Michael Brown Wounds Nashville Embraces Motley Crue Obama: 'Time to Listen, Not Just Shout' Lawyer: Gov. Perry Indictment a 'Nasty Attack' Raw: Russian Aid Convoy Crosses Into Ukraine Iowa Man Builds Statue of a Golfer Out of Balls Assange Gets Cryptic About Leaving Embassy in UK Raw: Building Collapse in South Africa, 9 Dead Raw: Pope Francis Meets 'Comfort Women'
Parade
Magazine

Click HERE to read all your Parade favorites including Hollywood Wire, Celebrity interviews and photo galleries, Food recipes and cooking tips, Games and lots more.
Obituaries
Poll
Kelly Lafferty's video on Tom Miller