Kokomo — This will be my last column for the [friday] section, as Kokomantis has been promoted from corner-side spectator to Lifestyle Editor ... Just kidding, late April Fool’s Day joke! I look forward to writing my column every week just like I look forward to my favorite “holiday” every year.
For 364 days, I plan pranks of all varieties for my beloved day that’s dedicated to flipping my family and friends out. My mom and I love the “holiday” so much we just can’t let it stay confined in its little Apr. 1 calendar square; therefore, the comedic celebration continues for days, sometimes months. I’ve received phone calls as late as June when I hear, “Oh my gosh! The Jessups still have their [Christmas] tree up!” Only to be trailed by a laughter-filled, “Late April Fools!”
Although the jokes lose their luster with each turn of the calendar page, the ones designed for the day of fooling friends and family aren’t just lustrous, they’ll knock you off your chair and make you drop the phone – especially if you’re my grandma.
The poor lady can’t catch a break when the calendar first flips its page to April. She’s gullible, she’s dramatic, she’s southern and she’s everyone’s favorite target to fool. The key is to get to her first. So, come 6 a.m. every April Fool’s Day: I’m up, I'm ready and I'm waiting to beat out the rest of the family. I’m like an April Fool’s Day jaguar, I wait until they’re comfortable in their morning routine: I let them dish out their scrambled eggs and pour their coffee. Then, I attack before they have a chance to open the paper to view the date that foreshadows their fate in my world of ultimate pranking.