Me: Awww, look at those cute row houses. I didn’t know they had houses like that in Chicago. Wait. Am I in Chicago? Where am I?
Road signage: “Welcome to Chicago.”
Me: Well, ask and ye shall receive.
Countless signs all around toll booths telling you to not back up.
Me: Someone did something pretty stupid that forced them to hang up signs stating the ridiculously obvious. Moron.
Traffic is at a complete stop on the “expressway”
Me: Did I really just pay a $3.50 toll for the privilege of parking? I could have parked at home for free.
I’ve really got to examine my decision-making process.
Twenty minutes and only 3 miles later, I’m starving and an Edible Arrangements delivery truck pulls in front of me.
Me: Dude, you’re about to get robbed.
Radio: “Cruel Summer.”
Me: That’s sadly fitting at the moment.
Traffic still at a crawl.
Me: Where were you at on this one, Kate? You’re so fired.
Traffic is finally moving. Radio plays “Free Falling.”
Me to DJ: Are you watching me?
Despite all that, I make it to the airport successfully.
From there all I had to do was find the parking lot, take the shuttle bus to the train, take the train go the terminal, check in, go through security, find my concourse and gate, wait two hours to board the plane and survive the four-hour flight to Oregon.
Ahhhh, this is relaxing.
— Misty Knisely
Interim [friday] editor/officially on vacation