Kokomo Tribune; Kokomo, Indiana


June 16, 2013

That one time Dad shot a nail through his hand

“Hey, guys. I shot a nail in my hand with the nail gun. I need to go to the hospital,” my dad said as he calmly interrupted my mom. My mom was in the midst of lecturing me for life about not brushing my dog and not following through on responsibilities, basically what an 8-year-old interprets as: “blah, blah, blah”

“Oh, whatever,” my mom sorely replied to my dad – comedic relief was not welcome at this time.

Then, without words, my dad carefully lifted his hand to reveal a huge nail that was indeed lodged — in “Tim the Tool man” fashion — through his left hand.

“AHHHHHHH!!! AHHHH!!!,” my mom and I screamed, only stopping for short breaths. “AHHHH!! AHHHH!!” Basically, every sound made in the last few minutes of a horror film erupted where a lecture and mother-daughter tension once lived.

From that point on, the two humans who didn’t have a nail shot through their left hands, ran around screaming at varying volumes while I yelled, “My dad is going to DIEEEE!!!!” During this dramatic outburst from — once again, the two unharmed humans — my dad calmly walked to the car and cozied himself into the passenger seat, where he waited to be escorted to the hospital.

My mom rushed him to the hospital, erratically asking questions: “How are you so calm?” “Doesn’t that hurt?” While my dad collectedly answered: “It’s not that big of a deal.” “No, it really doesn’t”

I remember thinking, “Did he also shoot a nail in his head? How can he have a NAIL IN HIS HAND and just put his seat in recline, while uttering answers with a tone of calmness?”

My mom and I walked — actually, a more accurate image: ran as we wildly waved our arms like The Muppets during a musical performance — while my dad tranquilly strolled down the halls of the ER behind us.

“Hurry up, Terry!” my mom shockingly had to tell the man with a nail shot through his hand.

And, during this, the dramatic daughter was thinking: “This is the last time I’ll ever see my dad walk.”

Keep in mind, there was little to no blood during this whole ordeal. Just a nail, a nail gun’s humble victim and two chickens with their heads cut off. We were the emergency room’s classiest act, I’m sure.

The surgeon even winced when my dad uncovered his nailed hand: “Looks like you should be on a cross,” he joked.

Good thing my grandma wasn’t there to take offense. Because that nail would’ve been going somewhere even less pretty than my dad’s hand.

My dad and his surgeon snickered and discussed how he’d take the nail out during surgery, I have no idea of the method. At this point, I had stuck my fingers so deeply in my ears to protect myself from the “gross stuff” that the surgeon was probably just a couple inches from having a second removal-type surgery.

The procedure was wrapped up in less than an hour and, soon after, we all headed home. To this day, I have no idea how my dad stayed so calm. But, I guess that’s part of fatherhood. Instilling calmness in the chaos and that’s exactly what he did — although it didn’t really work, the effort was appreciated. It’s that effort we celebrate on Father’s Day. Happy Father’s Day and take a break from the nail gun, Dad.

[friday] editor/ Why I don’t use a nail gun

Text Only | Photo Reprints
  • Rethinking pot edibles MONTPELIER, Vt. (AP) — Move over, pot brownies.The proliferation of marijuana edibles for both medical and recreational purposes is giving rise to a cottage industry of baked goods, candies, infused oils, cookbooks and classes that promises a slow bu

    July 22, 2014

  • Marques Bunn Kokomo native returning for hometown comedy show A comedian who grew up in Kokomo is back in his hometown performing all weekend – his second time here this year.Marques Bunn opens for longtime friend and fellow comedian Troy Davis at Laugh House Kokomo downtown. There are shows at 8 p.m. today and

    July 18, 2014 1 Photo

  • This week's best bets 1) Rockin' in the park Stray Cat, Lee Rocker and Band performs a free show Saturday night at Foster Park, so don't miss it. The show goes from 7 to 10:30 p.m. and features special guests Tony Funk and the Homewreckers. Lee Rocker made his mark singin

    July 18, 2014

  • Editor's Picks 1) The Nutcracker Show Ron White performs his Nutcracker show at Honeywell Center in Wabash Saturday night. Ron “Tater Salad” White first rose to fame as the cigar-smoking, scotch-drinking funnyman from the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. Now, as a chart-t

    July 18, 2014

  • Ziliak, Lindsey Searching for my lovable goof He busted a move on the dance floor while wearing a woman’s straw hat, and I couldn’t help but chuckle. They say that girls want to marry men like their fathers. For years, I swore that wasn’t true. Then one day I realized it actually was. That means

    July 18, 2014 1 Photo

  • Editor's Picks 1) Everyone's favorite ogre Footlite Musicals in Indianapolis presents Shrek the Musical at 8 p.m. today and Saturday at 1847 N. Alabama St. The musical, based on the Oscar winning DreamWorks film that started it all, brings the hilarious story of ev

    July 11, 2014

  • This week's best bets 1) Fair Entertainment Check out local acts Shiny Penny, Mike Milligan and Steam Shovel and The Time Travelers at the Howard County 4-H Fair throughout the weekend. Mike Milligan and Steam Shovel and The Time Travelers take the stage tonight, with Mik

    July 11, 2014

  • NWS - duckderby 33 Rubber ducks are back at Kokomo Beach On Thursday 2,000 tiny, rubber ducks will race down the lazy river at Kokomo Beach to raise money for an organization that may be one of Kokomo’s best-kept secrets. Jamey Henderson said there are still many people who don’t know what Samaritan Caregi

    July 11, 2014 1 Photo

  • Trapeze Flying high at the circus

    Carson Gerber takes a less-than-graceful turn on the trapeze.

    July 11, 2014 1 Photo

  • This week's best bets 1) Live music downtown Bands will perform live at Foster Park all weekend as part of the Haynes Apperson Festival, celebrating Kokomo's heritage. Crowd favorite Here Come the Mummies perform tonight with special guest 26 West. Bands take the stage at

    July 4, 2014

Latest news
Featured Ads
Only on our website
AP Video
Judge Ponders Overturning Colo. Gay Marriage Ban Airlines Halt Travel to Israel Amid Violence NYPD Chief Calls for 'use of Force' Retraining VA Nominee McDonald Goes Before Congress Bush: Don't Worry, Sugarland Isn't Breaking Up US Official: Most Migrant Children to Be Removed Police Probing Brooklyn Bridge Flag Switch CDC Head Concerned About a Post-antibiotic Era Raw: First Lady Says `Drink Up' More Water Courts Conflicted Over Healthcare Law Holder Urges Bipartisanship on Immigration Raw: Truck, Train Crash Leads to Fireball US Airlines Cancel Israel Flights Obama Signs Workforce Training Law Crash Victims' Remains Reach Ukraine-held City Diplomatic Push Intensifies to End War in Gaza Cat Fans Lap Up Feline Film Festival Michigan Plant's Goal: Flower and Die Veteran Creates Job During High Unemployment

Click HERE to read all your Parade favorites including Hollywood Wire, Celebrity interviews and photo galleries, Food recipes and cooking tips, Games and lots more.
Kelly Lafferty's video on Tom Miller