Kokomo Tribune; Kokomo, Indiana

[friday]

September 13, 2013

Not winning at Whoppers

(Continued)

After finishing Lear’s interview, it was go time. I slipped into latex gloves with some notes of advice from Lear, “Those have a lot of powder in them, it’ll get all over your clothes when you take them off,” her slate-black Dickies, dusted with white in some areas, had the proof.

Her petite frame stood in front of the metal counter, hands gloved, mind focused, then done. Seriously, 14 seconds later there was a BK Whopper wrapped and waiting for its customer.

Then, it was my turn. Here’s how that went:

Lear laid out the two buns for me, the two of them vertically aligned.

The seconds hand cued my send-off into Whopper-building-warrior mode, when it landed on the 9.

Bam, there’s the mayo.

“Oh, that’s the wrong bun,” Lear said.

Bam, there’s the mayo again; other bun this time.

Pickin’ up the lettuce with the tongs, Woo! Woo! (I never said any of this aloud, by the way; I’m trying to make a Whopper not win a “Bro-talking” contest).

“Oh, that’s the wrong bun and you don’t have to use the tongs,” Lear said as we laughed at my already-lacking line skills.

Then, I started to move on and almost forgot the hamburger. Calling the little old lady from Wendy’s now, because I just about provoked a literal “Where’s-the-beef?!” moment.

“You can use the tongs to get the hamburger out of the drawer up there,” Lear said, preventing the possibility of a lettuce-tomato-onion sandwich; it’d at least cut a few cals.

Welp, there goes the meat – Welcome back, Wendy’s lady – because I just split the burger in two.

Note: When making a Whopper, go easy with the tongs; it’s better when half the hamburger doesn’t get pinched off. Plus, it helps your scored time when you’re not trying to piece a hamburger back together on a sesame bun, which is what I was doing.

Text Only | Photo Reprints
[friday]
  • Editor's Picks An angel’s taleCarmel Community Players presents “I Married an Angel” all weekend in Carmel.Shows are 7:30 p.m. today and Saturday and 2:30 p.m. Sunday.In the production, a wealthy Budapest banker, Count Perrin, is love-weary. He ends his engagement,

    July 25, 2014

  • This week's best bets 1) Look to the skies Several rockstars of the aviation aerobatics world are set to perform Saturday afternoon at the Kokomo Airshow. The show is free and starts at 1 p.m. at the Kokomo Municipal Airport. It will feature award-winning airshow performe

    July 25, 2014

  • Ziliak, Lindsey Living out my dream My high school chemistry teacher eight years ago basically told me I was dumb. It wasn’t because I was failing his class. I actually excelled in it and picked up this catchy tune while I was there. “A mole is a unit; Oh have you heard,” I remember si

    July 25, 2014 1 Photo

  • Marques Bunn Kokomo native returning for hometown comedy show A comedian who grew up in Kokomo is back in his hometown performing all weekend – his second time here this year.Marques Bunn opens for longtime friend and fellow comedian Troy Davis at Laugh House Kokomo downtown. There are shows at 8 p.m. today and

    July 18, 2014 1 Photo

  • This week's best bets 1) Rockin' in the park Stray Cat, Lee Rocker and Band performs a free show Saturday night at Foster Park, so don't miss it. The show goes from 7 to 10:30 p.m. and features special guests Tony Funk and the Homewreckers. Lee Rocker made his mark singin

    July 18, 2014

  • Editor's Picks 1) The Nutcracker Show Ron White performs his Nutcracker show at Honeywell Center in Wabash Saturday night. Ron “Tater Salad” White first rose to fame as the cigar-smoking, scotch-drinking funnyman from the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. Now, as a chart-t

    July 18, 2014

  • Ziliak, Lindsey Searching for my lovable goof He busted a move on the dance floor while wearing a woman’s straw hat, and I couldn’t help but chuckle. They say that girls want to marry men like their fathers. For years, I swore that wasn’t true. Then one day I realized it actually was. That means

    July 18, 2014 1 Photo

  • Editor's Picks 1) Everyone's favorite ogre Footlite Musicals in Indianapolis presents Shrek the Musical at 8 p.m. today and Saturday at 1847 N. Alabama St. The musical, based on the Oscar winning DreamWorks film that started it all, brings the hilarious story of ev

    July 11, 2014

  • This week's best bets 1) Fair Entertainment Check out local acts Shiny Penny, Mike Milligan and Steam Shovel and The Time Travelers at the Howard County 4-H Fair throughout the weekend. Mike Milligan and Steam Shovel and The Time Travelers take the stage tonight, with Mik

    July 11, 2014

  • NWS - duckderby 33 Rubber ducks are back at Kokomo Beach On Thursday 2,000 tiny, rubber ducks will race down the lazy river at Kokomo Beach to raise money for an organization that may be one of Kokomo’s best-kept secrets. Jamey Henderson said there are still many people who don’t know what Samaritan Caregi

    July 11, 2014 1 Photo

Latest news
Featured Ads
Only on our website
AP Video
Florida Panther Rebound Upsets Ranchers Small Plane Crash in San Diego Parking Lot Busy Franco's Not Afraid of Overexposure Fighting Blocks Access to Ukraine Crash Site Dangerous Bacteria Kills One in Florida Workers Dig for Survivors After India Landslide Texas Scientists Study Ebola Virus Smartphone Powered Paper Plane Debuts at Airshow Southern Accent Reduction Class Cancelled in TN Raw: Deadly Landslide Hits Indian Village Obama Chides House GOP for Pursuing Lawsuit New Bill Aims to Curb Sexual Assault on Campus Russia Counts Cost of New US, EU Sanctions 3Doodler Bring 3-D Printing to Your Hand Six PA Cops Indicted for Robbing Drug Dealers Britain Testing Driverless Cars on Roadways
Parade
Magazine

Click HERE to read all your Parade favorites including Hollywood Wire, Celebrity interviews and photo galleries, Food recipes and cooking tips, Games and lots more.
Obituaries
Poll
Kelly Lafferty's video on Tom Miller