Kokomo Tribune; Kokomo, Indiana

October 6, 2012

Day: What to write about

By Ray Day
Guest columnist

— I sometimes try to write according to what is going on in the present life and how it affects you and me. Other times, I write about how life was in my younger age, and now and then, I write about what future lies ahead for all of us.

I have to look toward what it is that my readers want to read and sometimes I am at a standstill on what is correct for that particular time. But so far it has met the approval of most of my readers. Thank God for that.

I am serious about that in that He sets me down and He tells me what to write. Yes, I write what is in my heart and I try to maintain a level of thought that I get just by being one of His children. So let’s get going about what is here now compared to what we would want to see in the future.

I live with the thought of respect for those before me, especially our parents and grandparents along with our brothers and sisters. I hope that the ones who come after me will remember us with respect and loyalty, and try to teach their children that their grandparents were good people who did their part in bringing their present into the future, and ferment that value on to their children. Respect and loyalty are two things that should always be part of a child’s upbringing. Without it, the line of growth in the family will be tainted and tarnished. Through the years, I have always tried to maintain that loyalty, because that is the way I was brought up.

If there is anything that I would want to say firsthand to those before me, it is “thank you” for all the help you gave me. If there is anything that I would want someone to say at my funeral, it would be that, “He was a good man, who said it like it was, and he was fair to all.” That folks, is respect for another.

Sometimes I walk through the cemetery to check on the graves of my family, including my daughter, Patricia. I look at the markers and in between the birth and death of the person, there is a dash there. That dash is the time spent here on earth for that person and it can hold a whole lot of thought about how that person lived during the time here.

Of course, you would have to know that person or someone close to them to know what that dash represents. It is refreshing to see how the ones left behind honor their loved ones with flowers, and visits to where the body lays in the ground.

I like to stop at the graves and say my hellos, and sometimes I sit down in front of it and just do some heavy thinking. Don’t worry, no one will think I am crazy as I am sure that they probably do the same things. There is a peaceful air about a cemetery as you look out and see how the grounds keepers do their work making all of it look pretty. But there are some who can’t visit a loved one’s grave because they just have never been able to cope with the loss.

Folks, take it from me, you don’t get over the loss, but you can accept it and go on with your life just like that loved one would want you to. Dad passed on in 1979, Mom passed on in 1982, and our youngest daughter passed on in 1994.

The losses dig deeply in your heart but you learn to accept it, and we want to ask why this happens and the only thing I can tell you is, it is part of life on earth and eternal life in Heaven. So as we venture forward with memories of the past, and into the future, we hope that we all have an abundant life.

• Ray “Uncle Ray” Day is a weekly contributor to the Kokomo Tribune.