Ulukaya would not reveal how many complaints they had, but he did say "it was not in the hundreds of thousands." This brilliant PR response was written for Ulukaya by the same guy who told George Bush to say, “Mission accomplished.”
By the way, Ulukaya is not from Greece, and neither is his yogurt. It’s made in upstate New York. Their plant was an old Kraft factory that once made Jalapeño String Cheese, the only product that Kraft ever recalled because it tasted like it was supposed to.
One news report quoted Ulukaya saying he would “not give a name to the mold.” This is a good idea, because once you call it Jerry or Samantha, it makes mass eradication much harder to feel good about. Ulukaya’s biggest concern is the onset of giaourtiophobia, the technical word for the fear of yogurt. Besides occasional recalls, I have never understood how someone could be afraid of yogurt. Tofu? Very scary. But not yogurt — at least, not plain vanilla.
There is some good news in the yogurt world. Dermatologists have determined that slathering the stuff on your face can give you a clear complexion. However, if you use the mixed berry, you will look like you have a bad case of zits.
So that’s it for all the controversial news in yogurt this week. I didn’t mean to alarm you, but I like to stir things up. That’s why my favorite yogurt is Dannon Fruit on the Bottom.
Dick Wolfsie is a television news reporter, syndicated humor columnist and author. He can be reached at Wolfsie@aol.com.