Kokomo Tribune; Kokomo, Indiana

Opinion

October 7, 2013

DICK WOLFSIE: Christmas is now in October

(Continued)

WORLD’S LARGEST GUMMY BEAR: HS says this is 1,000 times larger than a traditional gummy bear. But is it snack food or a big game trophy? HS advises that it tastes best when kept in the fridge and then sliced into cutlets, which is a term that should really be reserved for veal. The giant gummy bear is cherry flavored and serves 12 kids. Or 106 adults.

THE SPINNING SPAGHETTI FORK: Are you tired of driving all the way over to Olive Garden or Bucca di Beppo, pouring over their exhaustive menus only to have to actually twirl the spaghetti on your fork yourself? The spinning fork has “a thumb activated button that turns the device at 22 rpm … and it fits neatly in your mouth without creating a mess.” This is the exact same copy as on the next page about their electric toothbrush, which is $75 more expensive. So I’d buy the fork. You’re welcome.

THE SLEEP-TALKING AND SNORING HOUND: This life-size Gund stuffed animal is for kids, but it’s also the perfect gift for the woman whose husband is away on frequent business trips. The soft and fluffy hound snores and even talks in its sleep, saying things like, “I love bacon.” Your new companion can be spot cleaned. It’s like your hubby never left.

Happy shopping!

Dick Wolfsie is a television news reporter, syndicated humor columnist and author. He can be reached at Wolfsie@aol.com.

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