"Yes, I was just thinking that I feel like I'm watching an episode of 'All My Children'. I don't think real life is that crisp and clear."
We viewed the entire show, convinced that Susan Lucci would eventually make a cameo appearance. I told Mary Ellen that we must never speak of this issue again, not if we had any hopes of ever making new friends with people under the age of 90. We wanted our old TV back, but requesting a return from Goodwill creates a lot of bad will, so we decided to just deal with it.
I went online and discovered hundreds of people posting about what they called SOE (the soap opera effect), a term I had coined in my living room the previous night but was given absolutely no credit for in the blogosphere.
I called the store and the sales associate said this was indeed a common complaint but it was easily remedied. He told me to get my remote and then go to the sub menu. The only sub menu I know how to find gets me a six-inch teriyaki chicken on whole wheat and a drink for $5.95.
Apparently, there is a way to eliminate the SOE on your LED or LCD, but it requires reading directions, and since I'm ADD, it's probably easier to just watch soap operas all day.