Kokomo Tribune; Kokomo, Indiana

Opinion

May 12, 2013

Vasicek: Mother’s Day stresses

Life will be better if we all ‘chill out’ more

For two hours, the lady sitting next to another airplane passenger boasted about her grandchildren, producing a barrage of photographs. She finally realized that she had been talking the whole time, so she tried to make amends:

“Oh, I am sorry! I have monopolized the conversation. I will listen to you now. So please tell me: what do you think of my grandchildren?”

Despite social changes in America, most people highly value family – at least in principle. K. J. Dell’Antonia of The New York Times documents, “In 2011, seven of the top 15 articles shared on Facebook were about family, children and parenting. That wasn’t a fluke. Nearly every news article, every policy and every cultural event can be looked at through the lens of how it affects parents and children — and even when it isn’t Mother’s Day, family comes high on the list of things both men and women are interested in reading and thinking about.”

Dedication does not make motherhood easy, only worthwhile. Surprisingly, mothers with three children seemed to be the most stressed, according to an exclusive Today.com mom survey. Rebecca Dube explains: “Mothers of three children stress more than moms of one or two, while mothers of four or more children actually report lower stress levels, according to the survey of more than 7,000 U.S. mothers released Monday. Call it the Duggar effect: Once you get a certain critical mass of kids, life seems to get a bit easier.”

The survey shows that most moms consider themselves stressed at an 85 percent level. Moms expressed they are stressed about money, work demands and their husbands. Yet three-fourths of moms say they are most stressed about pressures they put upon themselves to be perfect. If only we Americans did a better job of “chilling out” without feeling guilty, how much better life would be for us all. It’s not just moms.

Another Mother’s Day stress we can feel is the stress to visit multiple mothers and grandmothers. Perhaps you have a mother and a mother-in-law and a stepmother (or two) and a stepmother-in-law (or two). If you mix a few grandmas into the equation – not to mention childless aunts – Mother’s Day can become one big ordeal.

Dr. Jamie Yvette (of “Yahoo Voices”) posted an article, “Tips for Honoring Multiple Moms on Mother’s Day.” Sometimes no matter how much effort you expend to please others, one is left feeling guilty and frustrated. Dr. Yvette offers several suggestions, including a holiday “rotation schedule.”

Dr. Yvette writes: “If you have multiple moms in different places, develop a “visit rotation” system as a compromise. You can plan, for example, to spend Thanksgiving with one mom, Christmas with another, Mother’s Day with another, etc. Try to rotate this each year so that you do not spend Mother’s Day with the same mom every time.”

Marylu and I were both fortunate. Our families of origin were not splintered by divorce, so we each had only one mother and one mother-in-law. Although we could not travel to Chicago for all the holidays, we did alternate Thanksgiving and Christmas between both sides. This way no one felt slighted. Since our parents are all gone, we are glad we made the effort — especially in retrospect.

Another alternative – if it works – is to invite your moms (and families) to one large celebration. That could be rough, though, if they are being pulled by other in-laws and stepchildren.

Motherhood is indeed special. Yet not every one of us has been blessed with a good mother. I’ve known a few over the years who were selfish, abusive or simply impossible to reason with. Nonetheless, most readers have been blessed with good moms, and those who were not can still respect the ideal of motherhood; many moms do approach that ideal. So to my readers who happen to be mothers, I wish you a wonderful and blessed day. Happy Mother’s Day. Motherhood gets two thumbs up in my review!

Ed Vasicek is pastor of Highland Park Church and a weekly contributor to the Kokomo Tribune. Contact him at edvasicek@att.net.

1
Text Only | Photo Reprints
Opinion
  • Vasicek: Celebrating Easter I have shared a few bits of Easter humor over the years, so I thought I’d start with a new one. Joseph of Arimathea was the wealthy Pharisee who is famous for helping to bury the body of Jesus. He procured the body, asking Pilate’s permission, and, w

    April 20, 2014

  • Public Eye: Was Turner the only one?

    CNHI Statehouse Bureau Chief Maureen Hayden and other Statehouse reporters didn't get an answer as to why the House ethics committee hearing concerning State Rep. Eric Turner was postponed, but it now appears the committee will meet Wednesday. A note

    April 20, 2014

  • DAY: God trusted us with them Well, you heard about my wife and I, and our families from the past, so it is time for me to tell you about two of the prettiest girls I have ever known. They are our daughters Debbie and Patty. They are the greatest gifts from God that we have had i

    April 19, 2014

  • LoBianco: Bigger ethics questions raised in House Turner review

    Members of the House Ethics Committee who will take up Rep. Eric Turner’s case face daunting tasks as they try to answer two questions: Did their powerful colleague violate any ethics rules in privately lobbying against a measure that would have hurt his family’s business?

    April 18, 2014

  • Letters to the Editor: April 18, 2014

    Attendees at the Tipton County Board of Commissioners meeting April 7 were treated to an appalling lack of both action and concern by the commissioners.

    April 18, 2014

  • Letter to the Editor: April 17, 2014

    On March 20 of this year I attended a public meeting of the Tipton County Economic Development Alliance. Members of this group include the three county commissioners, a member of the county council, two members from the city council, and the mayor.

    April 17, 2014

  • Hicks: Measuring the unmeasurable

    One aspect of economic research I think is especially powerful is the ability to measure or monetize the things that humans clearly value but for which a market price is not necessarily apparent. This is one of the aspects of economic analysis that gives it such dominance over other social sciences.

    April 17, 2014

  • Rob Burgess House of Burgess: Bush presents 'The Art of Leadership'

    On April 5, “The Art of Leadership: A President’s Personal Diplomacy,” opened at the George W. Bush Presidential Library and Museum on the campus of Southern Methodist University. The display, which runs through June 3, boasts “portraits of more than two dozen world leaders” painted by Bush, according to the official literature.

    April 16, 2014 1 Photo

  • Bohanon: ‘Economics is fun’ in Vegas or in Bible study

    I am writing this on an airplane to Las Vegas. I’ll be attending the annual conference of the Association of Private Enterprise Education along with two of my colleagues and six of my students.

    April 16, 2014

  • Letters to the Editor: April 16, 2014

    At the time the agenda for the April 7 commissioner meeting came out, I was happy to see that the neglected commissioner board appointments were finally going to be addressed. These appointments had been in limbo for months on end.

    April 16, 2014

Featured Ads
Only on our website
AP Video
Raw: More Than 100,000 Gather for Easter Sunday Raw: Greeks Celebrate Easter With "Rocket War" Police Question Captain, Crew on Ferry Disaster Raw: Orthodox Christians Observe Easter Rite Ceremony Marks 19th Anniversary of OKC Bombing Raw: Four French Journalists Freed From Syria Raw: Massive 7.2 Earthquake Rocks Mexico Captain of Sunken SKorean Ferry Arrested Raw: Fire Destroys 3 N.J. Beachfront Homes Raw: Pope Presides Over Good Friday Mass Raw: Space X Launches to Space Station Superheroes Descend on Capitol Mall Man Charged in Kansas City Highway Shootings Obama Awards Navy Football Trophy Anti-semitic Leaflets Posted in Eastern Ukraine Raw: Magnitude-7.2 Earthquake Shakes Mexico City Ceremony at MIT Remembers One of Boston's Finest Raw: Students Hurt in Colo. School Bus Crash Deadly Avalanche Sweeps Slopes of Mount Everest
Parade
Magazine

Click HERE to read all your Parade favorites including Hollywood Wire, Celebrity interviews and photo galleries, Food recipes and cooking tips, Games and lots more.
Obituaries
Poll