Kokomo Tribune; Kokomo, Indiana

Opinion

May 13, 2013

Wolfsie: Making bird calls

One afternoon in 2011, my friend Eric spent a couple of hours over lunch explaining Twitter to me and I thought I understood it all, but as you’ll see from my first few tweets, I wasn’t very confident:

“Is anyone getting this?”

“Todd, are you the only one who got this or did everyone get it?”

“THIS IS A TEST”

“If someone is actually reading this could you call me on my phone and tell me?”

“THIS IS ANOTHER TEST”

I’m still trying to understand how this whole process works. If John McCain and Mitch McConnell can tweet, how tough can it be? My wife says there are courses on social networking, but I don’t have a great record learning stuff in a classroom. I still can’t speak Spanish or do long division.

This past Sunday, I decided to take advantage of the great breadth of knowledge and experience that exists among our church’s congregation. At the end of the service each week, we all stand in a circle holding hands (unless there’s a flu epidemic) and ask our fellow Unitarians to express any recent joys or concerns. A lot of people waste this valuable time lamenting about their ailing aunt or bragging about their niece who got a Rhodes Scholarship. I took the opportunity to see if anyone could explain to me how to tweet.  In order to minimize the total humiliation I might experience, I did request that my tutor not be under 8 or over 80.

In true community spirit, many congregants approached me after the service with an offer to assist. Based on some of these comments, I was still a bit uneasy:

“I never fully understood that hashtag thing either, Dick.”

“I don’t think you can end a sentence with @”

“I don’t trust Direct Messaging. My boss now knows I hate him.”

 “I don’t tweet. It creeps me out when people follow me.”

The real problem now was coming up with twitter-worthy material. Last Wednesday after walking my dog at a nearby park, I sped out of the parking area without securing the hatchback on my SUV. Apparently, as I made my way home, an entire case of expensive prescription dog food and 30 copies of my latest book slid out the back and onto the street. After discovering this, I quickly retraced my route to find the missing cargo, but to no avail. Thankfully, upon returning to my house, I saw all my belongings stacked on my front porch, with a note:

Hello, Mr. Wolfsie:

I saw this stuff strewn all over Fall Creek Parkway and decided to return it. I knew the dog food would be missed. Also found your books.

Josh


Now I had something to tweet about. “Thanks to an honest guy named #Josh who returned everything that fell out of the back of my car.”

(Why the hashtag? I don’t know, but it made me feel very hip to type it.)

Josh also left his business card, so I called to thank him personally and mentioned that I had tweeted about his generosity. That night I went to my twitter account and I saw that Josh had re-tweeted my comments. I have no idea what that means. But I do have church on Sunday and I can’t wait to find out.

Dick Wolfsie is an on-air personality at WISH-TV Channel 8 and weekly contributor to the Kokomo Tribune. Contact him at Wolfsie@aol.com.

1
Text Only | Photo Reprints
Opinion
  • Keep eyeout for kids With most local schools welcoming students in a couple of weeks — and Kokomo schools beginning class Aug. 5 (yes, a week from this coming Tuesday) — it’s important for motorists to think about safe driving as children travel to and from school.Law en

    July 23, 2014

  • MAUREEN HAYDEN: Expiring term heightens urgency of legislator's mission State Rep. Rebecca Kubacki had plans for her return to the General Assembly next January.The two-term Republican from Kosciusko County wanted to exert “full force” to roll back a law that prevents the children of undocumented immigrants from paying i

    July 23, 2014

  • LETTERS: Let's hope 7th Circuit sides with couples Let’s hope 7th Circuit sides with couplesIf you blinked over the past month, you probably missed some news about marriage equality in Indiana.First, a federal court ruled that the state’s ban on marriage for same-sex couples was unconstitutional, whi

    July 23, 2014

  • CECIL BOHANON: Spend down surplus? Been there, done that Back in 1998, the state of Indiana had more than $1.3 billion in surplus funds in its general account. This was about 57 days of state spending. The state had total surplus funds of more than $2 billion that was over 24 percent of its annual operatin

    July 23, 2014

  • House of Burgess: Bush? Clinton? Next, please Here comes a sentence I don’t usually find myself typing: I agree with Barbara Bush on something.Jan. 20, C-SPAN aired her installment in the series “First Ladies: Influence and Image,” which was filmed at Bush’s Houston home.“Do you think there is r

    July 23, 2014

  • State aims at outbreaks More than 200 Western School Corp. students were vaccinated for chickenpox after an outbreak in March 2012.The virus was confirmed to have infected five fifth-graders, the Howard County Health Department reported. It acted quickly to prevent the infe

    July 22, 2014

  • MAUREEN HAYDEN: Expiring term heightens urgency of legislator's mission State Rep. Rebecca Kubacki had plans for her return to the General Assembly next January.The two-term Republican from Kosciusko County wanted to exert “full force” to roll back a law that prevents the children of undocumented immigrants from paying i

    July 22, 2014

  • LETTERS: Trust chemical, seed firms and the FDA? Trust chemical, seed firms and the FDA?Let’s see ... Mr. Don Villwock, Indiana Farm Bureau president, wants the FDA to define what genetically engineered foods are, and then he wants it to be optional or voluntary for food companies to tell consumers

    July 22, 2014

  • TOM LoBIANCO: Indiana Democrats deal with divide on education On the face of it, the battles between Democratic Schools Superintendent Glenda Ritz and supporters and staff of Republican Gov. Mike Pence have been a unifying force for Indiana Democrats. But the scrapping has exposed a deep rift within the party o

    July 22, 2014

  • BRIAN HOWEY: Is Evan Bayh contemplating another gubernatorial run? This could be the saga of “LeBron Bayh.”Like a thunderhead brewing in the distance, you could see this one coming. This was the progression: former state Democratic Chairman Dan Parker announces he will not become a candidate for mayor of Indianapoli

    July 21, 2014

Featured Ads
Only on our website
AP Video
Disabled Veterans Memorial Nearing Completion Last Mass Lynching in U.S. Remains Unsolved Home-sharing Programs Help Seniors Ex-NYC Mayor: US Should Allow Flights to Israel Clinton: "AIDS-Free Generation Within Our Reach" Judge Ponders Overturning Colo. Gay Marriage Ban Airlines Halt Travel to Israel Amid Violence NYPD Chief Calls for 'use of Force' Retraining VA Nominee McDonald Goes Before Congress Bush: Don't Worry, Sugarland Isn't Breaking Up US Official: Most Migrant Children to Be Removed Police Probing Brooklyn Bridge Flag Switch CDC Head Concerned About a Post-antibiotic Era Raw: First Lady Says `Drink Up' More Water Courts Conflicted Over Healthcare Law Holder Urges Bipartisanship on Immigration Raw: Truck, Train Crash Leads to Fireball US Airlines Cancel Israel Flights Obama Signs Workforce Training Law Crash Victims' Remains Reach Ukraine-held City
Parade
Magazine

Click HERE to read all your Parade favorites including Hollywood Wire, Celebrity interviews and photo galleries, Food recipes and cooking tips, Games and lots more.
Obituaries
Poll