Kokomo Tribune; Kokomo, Indiana

Opinion

March 3, 2013

Vasicek; ‘Top this’ news story contest turns up some winners

I put on the coffee pot just as the doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it honey,” I shouted to the Mrs., “that’s Emil. We’re going to have another ‘top this’ news story contest.”

Marylu offered to join us for the event. I was surprised, since I thought she had no interest in such a contest. I certainly didn’t mind. If she was bored, so be it: after all, she was getting the worst of it when she married me.

“Come on in, Emil. I’m ready to go – but I just plugged in the coffee pot,” I explained, nearly tripping over a throw rug.

“Ed,” Emil commented as he sat, “you are the only person I know who has an electric percolator. Why do you like it so much?”

“Well,” I explained, “First, I like my coffee hot, and percolators bring the water to a boil.  Second, cheap coffee tastes good in a percolator, third, I don’t have to buy filters. And fourth, I like to hear it perk.”

“Funny,” he replied, “I thought you did that to irritate the gourmet crowd with their French presses and Kenyan A gourmet coffees.”

“That’s reason number five,” I confessed with embarrassment. “Anyhow, bring any articles worthy of the challenge?”

“Sure do,” Emil responded. Here’s one from the New York Times. You can now buy a home solar-power system at Honda. They have a deal with SolarCity; I guess if you buy a Honda, you can also buy a solar system to provide electricity for your home.  Let me read the article to you:

“‘In a typical arrangement, a company provides a system at little or no cost in exchange for a long-term contract in which the customer pays a fixed fee for the electricity generated, set at less than the customer would pay for power from the local utility. The solar price often rises over the life of the agreement, which can last 20 years.’”

“Wow,” I replied, “Things are really changing.”

“Not that much,” chimed in Marylu. “My mother had a solar powered clothes dryer before I was born?”

“Really?” Emil spoke with surprise.

“Yep,” Marylu replied. “It was called a clothes line.”

“Okay, let’s move on” (after all, she stole that joke from me, and, since I can’t remember who I stole it from, I consider it mine). “Now it’s my turn. How about this one from the Sideshow?

“A California lawyer said guards in a San Diego jail forgot about him—and that he was trapped for hours inside a locked waiting room.

“‘I know it takes a while to get the people, so I’m patient,” Lopez said. “I don’t have my cellphone with me because the policy is you can’t use a cellphone inside.’

“After a half an hour, however, Lopez became concerned and tried to alert guards using an intercom...

The lawyer spent more than four hours inside the locked waiting room before a guard heard him and unlocked the door.”

“Crazy,” Emil replied. “Pretty good article. And I’m proud of you. You resisted the temptation to throw in a crummy lawyer joke.”

“I’ve got an article!” Marylu offered. This time I was shocked!  Marylu rarely competes with me, but when she does, I am doomed.

“Let’s hear it,” Emil responded while I grieved my imminent loss.

“This is from UPI,” she offered:

“A 101-year-old man who has been in nine marathons since taking up distance running when he was 89 said he retired after a weekend race in Hong Kong.

“Fauja Singh, whose running and style of dress earned him the title ‘Turbaned Tornado,’ said Sunday’s 6.2-mile race was his final competitive run, CNN reported Monday. Singh said he completed the Hong Kong event in 32 minutes and 28 seconds, shaving 4 minutes off his time from last year.”

“I can’t believe that!” I gasped. How can a 101 year old man run that fast?”

Emil changed the tone: “And I think we know who won the contest.”

I smiled. Both Emil and I were gracious losers.

Ed Vasicek is pastor of Highland Park Church and a weekly contributor to the Kokomo Tribune. Contact him at edvasicek@att.net.

1
Text Only | Photo Reprints
Opinion
  • House of Burgess: Bush presents 'The Art of Leadership' On April 5, “The Art of Leadership: A President’s Personal Diplomacy,” opened at the George W. Bush Presidential Library and Museum on the campus of Southern Methodist University. The display, which runs through June 3, boasts “portraits of more than

    April 16, 2014

  • Bohanon: ‘Economics is fun’ in Vegas or in Bible study

    I am writing this on an airplane to Las Vegas. I’ll be attending the annual conference of the Association of Private Enterprise Education along with two of my colleagues and six of my students.

    April 16, 2014

  • Letters to the Editor: April 16, 2014

    At the time the agenda for the April 7 commissioner meeting came out, I was happy to see that the neglected commissioner board appointments were finally going to be addressed. These appointments had been in limbo for months on end.

    April 16, 2014

  • Hayden: Want better teacher ratings? Ask the kids

    The state may be back where it started, encumbered with a flawed teacher grading system, a year after implementing what were meant to be tough new standards.
    That was the general consensus of the State Board of Education days after teacher evaluation data were released last week.

    April 15, 2014

  • Letters to the Editor: April 15, 2014

    In a recent “public eye” article written by KT columnist Scott Smith about the proposed industrial wind turbine project; mention was made of the “new deal” brokered by Howard County Commissioners with E.ON.

    April 15, 2014

  • BRIAN HOWEY: Mike Pence for president in 2016? Stay tuned Mike Pence for president? The swirl of 2016 national ticket talk surrounding Gov. Pence intensified over the past few weeks. I sat down with the governor in his office on Tuesday to find out what he's really thinking. A few hours prior, the Weekly S

    April 14, 2014

  • DICK WOLFSIE: Such a thing as too much My wife and I went on a binge last week. If you think I'm talking about an eating binge, you've never seen how thin we both are. If you think I mean a shopping binge, you don't know how cheap we are. And if you think it was a cleaning binge, you've n

    April 14, 2014

  • April 14, 2014: Letters to the editor Watch for bicyclists on roadways, drivers When you ride a bike near a semi, there are at least four blind spots where the driver can't see you. We need to be careful when we ride near trucks. If we get hit by a semi, it's usually our fault. But we ne

    April 14, 2014

  • April 14, 2014: Weekly wrap FEMA no friend to hardship Many government officials ... across the state are likely asking themselves if the winter of 2014 will ever end. Sure, the snow has long since melted, but the bills from plowing snow, treating roads and hauling away the whi

    April 14, 2014

  • Immunize your child Pertussis is a communicable disease Americans just don't worry about today. Health professionals begin immunizing infants against pertussis, diphtheria and tetanus with the DTaP vaccine just two months after birth. But pertussis, better known as whoo

    April 13, 2014

Featured Ads
Only on our website
AP Video
Tributes Mark Boston Bombing Anniversary Raw: Kan. Shooting Suspect Faces Judge US Supports Ukraine's Efforts to Calm Tensions Suspect in Kansas Shootings Faces Murder Charges Ukraine: Military Recaptures Eastern Airport Raw: Storm Topples RVs Near Miss. Gulf Coast NASA Showcases Lunar Eclipse Pistorius Cries During Final Cross-Examination The Boston Marathon Bombing: One Year Later Michael Phelps Set to Come Out of Retirement First Women Move to Army Platoon Artillery Jobs Sex Offenders Charged in Serial Killings Police: Woman Stored Dead Babies in Garage OC Serial Murder Suspects May Have More Victims Family: 2 Shot in Head at Kan. Jewish Center Raw: Horse Jumping Inspires 'Bunny Hop' After Attack, Officials Kill 5 Bears in Florida Popular Science Honors Year's Top Inventions ND Oil Boom Attracting Drug Traffickers
Parade
Magazine

Click HERE to read all your Parade favorites including Hollywood Wire, Celebrity interviews and photo galleries, Food recipes and cooking tips, Games and lots more.
Obituaries
Poll