Published: March 09, 2009 08:48 pm      

BEAS: Perfect! Owens is now a Bill

It snows something like 304 days a year in Buffalo, doesn’t it? We’re talking some up-to-your-doorknob days when just peering out the window at the powdery enemy covering your driveway is enough to pour the ground floor of a monster back ache.

As if this wasn’t depressing enough, an average of 12 to 15 persons commit suicide annually at Niagara Falls. In 1950, Buffalo’s population was a robust 580,132; it’s now less than half that. Athletically, the Bills have been to four Super Bowls and lost every one with only one of the games being close. Yeah, you remember Scott Norwood.

Buffalo, for lack of a better description, has issues. And now it has Terrell Owens, who has wrecked more locker rooms than Woody Hayes and Bob Knight combined.

You just knew that in a league of 32 franchises, one would sign the 35-year-old Owens, who in his prime was a premier receiver, but now is known for disrupting the on- and off-field chemistry of three teams. First it was San Francisco, then Philadelphia and most recently Dallas. One west, one east, one south.

Now Owens is a Buffalo Bill, which means he’ll have the north covered, too, once he starts questioning the play calling of coach Dick Jauron or getting in the face of quarterback Trent Edwards because of the occasional underthrow.

Expect the latter to take place, oh, about Week 6. Edwards, the 25-year-old out of Stanford, will be under pressure in the pocket when he slings a dart directly at Owens’ ankles. Frustrated, Owens will bark at Edwards as the two walk back to the huddle. A Bills lineman intervenes. World War III ensues.

We’ve seen it before. Owens didn’t like Jeff Garcia in ‘Frisco, couldn’t get along with Donovan McNabb in Phlly and was jealous of Tony Romo in Big D. Detecting a pattern here? All three of these signal-callers is much more accomplished than Edwards, whose hairline should gradually recede as the 2009 season progresses making him look 41 by December.

Nothing is ever T.O.’s fault. Ever. Never mind that his hands of stone (apologies to the great Roberto Duran) produced dropped pass after dropped pass after dropped pass in 2008. It’s always due to someone or something else, a me-first mindset capable of splitting locker rooms in half or, worse, thirds.

Best-case scenario for Buffalo: That Owens models exemplary behavior on and off the football field, mentors Buffalo’s young receivers and steps up with an All-Pro-caliber season. He’s quiet, humble and great in the community. Worst-case scenario: Owens never gets on page with Edwards and becomes a disruptive jerk. Fans seated at Ralph Wilson Stadium begin pelting him with snowballs as he leaves the field. Bridges are burned. Feelings are hurt.

Which version of Terrell Owens suits up for Buffalo next season is anyone’s guess. Saddest of all is that Owens is one of us doing the guessing.

Parting shots

Having recently spent three nights covering the Big Ten Women’s Basketball Tournament in Indianapolis, I learned the following:

• Ohio State might be the country’s 12th-ranked squad, but there is no way there are 11 teams out there better than the Buckeyes. I’m not sure there are three. Sophomore center Jantel Lavender is everything she was billed to be and more. The girl is automatic inside 10 feet and owned the glass every time she hits the court.

• Traveling is called only if a player takes 14 or more steps.

• Even though it lost to OSU in the final, this has long been Purdue’s showcase as the Lady Boilers have qualified for the championship game 11 times in the event’s 15-year history. Compare that to the men, who have been in one title contest, and that came 11 years ago during the inaugural event.

Mike Beas is a freelance writer/columnist and Kokomo native who resides in Carmel. He can be reached at mbeas@att.net