Woman tries to balance life with two mothers
DEAR ABBY: I have two mothers: my biological mother and Mom, who raised me. I share everything with Mom — my hopes, dreams, fears and everything in between. My biological mother and I are not as close. We never have been. I don’t have a single good childhood memory with her in it.
Lately, my bio mother has been extremely jealous of my relationship with Mom, even though she has never done anything to facilitate the same relationship with me. She’s pushy and constantly oversteps boundaries. Because of this, when I found out I was pregnant, I chose not to tell her.
I’m now 36 weeks pregnant, and someone adjacent to my inner circle has informed her of my pregnancy and due date. She contacted my family FUMING about my not telling her, insisting she had a “right” to know. I feel this is her, once again, feeling entitled to my life and trying to treat me as property. I do not feel she is entitled to any details about my life. Am I wrong? — GUARDED IN ILLINOIS
DEAR GUARDED: You are not wrong, and I can see why you are feeling invaded. You are entitled to privacy if you want it. Your birth mother is “entitled” only to those details of your life you are willing to share with her. (When DID you intend to share the happy news with her? After the birth?) You may need to distance yourself from the person who gave your birth mother the news if you want to avoid similar breaches in the future.
DEAR ABBY: I’m writing about “Anxious About Alcohol in Georgia” (Aug. 30), the teen who was torn between his parents’ views on alcohol as he prepares for his first year of college. In Colorado, Georgia and many other states, minors ARE prohibited from possessing and drinking alcohol — with an important exception. That is, doing it in the presence of and under the supervision of their parents in their home.
I’m not condoning reckless behavior, but when I was growing up, my parents let us try beer and wine at an early age. It was pretty strong, and we didn’t like it. We were never encouraged to get drunk or use it in excess. But we learned about it, tasted it and understood the good and bad when dealing with alcohol. I believe this is why my sisters and I never had issues. We have always been responsible, and I’m convinced this is a responsible way to introduce alcohol to a minor.
We gain knowledge through experience. Having that experience in a safe environment with the proper guidance and supervision is a must. Better to learn with a responsible parent than a frat brother you just met. Agree? — ALLAN IN COLORADO
DEAR ALLAN: Yes, I do. And thank you for pointing out that provision in the law. Many other readers echoed your sentiments about demystifying the allure of alcohol by introducing it in the home under parental supervision. It could prevent some young people from going wild the minute they reach the campus.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
Country singer-recording executive Jimmy Bowen is 84. Movie director Ridley Scott is 84. Movie writer-director Terrence Malick is 78. Playwright David Mamet is 74. Actor Mandy Patinkin is 69. Singer Billy Idol is 66. Comedian Colin Mochrie (“Whose Line Is It Anyway?”) is 64. Former football and baseball player Bo Jackson is 59. Actor-director Ben Stiller is 56. Music producer Steve Aoki is 44. Singer Clay Aiken is 43. Actress Elisha Cuthbert is 39. Actress Kaley Cuoco is 36. Model Chrissy Teigen is 36. Actress Christel Khalil is 34.
Weigh the pros and cons before you take action. Turn every negative into a positive, and keep your life simple, moderate and practical. An independent attitude will prove to work in your favor. If you are creative, you won’t be disappointed in the results you get.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — Be clear about your wants and plans. Speak from the heart and strive for success. Don’t underestimate others or take on more than you can handle.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — Make rational decisions. If you let your emotions take the reins, you will regret the promises you make. Put your health and personal needs first. Take a creative approach.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — Put more thought into investments and contracts. Choose a healthy, fit lifestyle. Looking and feeling your best will give you the boost you need to do a good job.
PISCES (Feb. 20-March 20) — Mull over how you feel about your relationships with others. Make a point to reach out to someone who shares your beliefs and long-term goals. A healthy conversation will help resolve issues.
ARIES (March 21-April 19) — Be patient and listen carefully to others. Understand your place and value in the grand scheme of things. Don’t take a risk with your health, reputation or investments.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20) — A sudden change will backfire if you take on too much too fast. Take a moment to work out the logistics, and you’ll realize what’s required if you want to become successful.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20) — Explore new possibilities and use your skills to achieve something big. Taking a diverse approach to life, work and happiness will bring stellar results and encourage exciting partnerships.
CANCER (June 21-July 22) — An incident will arise if you let your emotions take charge. Focus on doing the best job possible, and you will receive recognition for a job well done. Refuse to let jealousy or insecurity cause a rift with a loved one.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) — Spend more time nurturing what you’ve worked so hard to build and the relationships that are meaningful to you, and you’ll feel good about your accomplishments. Work to stabilize your life.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — Aim high and refuse to let anything or anyone stand in your way. Hard work pays off. Arguing a moot point will waste time. Don’t settle for less than what you expect.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — Put your heart and soul into making your surroundings more convenient and comfortable. Your strength will come from doing what’s best for you. Work to increase your prosperity.
SCORPIO (Oct. 243-Nov. 22) — Refrain from sharing personal information. Be a good listener; it will give you the upper hand when dealing with peers, friends and relatives.
NEWS OF THE WEIRD
By Chuck Sheppard
Least Competent Criminal: A 17-year-old driver in Youngstown, Ohio, was pulled over by police after he ran a stop sign and drove at high speeds on Sept. 15, WKBN-TV reported. When police spoke to the nervous young man, they smelled what they thought was marijuana, and in the car they found a device that is used to load ammunition into a semi-automatic firearm. They also noticed that his belt was unbuckled. The teenager explained to police that the device belonged to his sister, and regarding his belt, he said, “I ain’t gonna lie, I was trying to take a s—t.” But police also searched the area where he had been driving and found a 9mm handgun in a yard. Finally, the suspect admitted that the gun was his and, presumably, he had been trying to hide it in his waistband. He was charged with improper handling of a firearm in a motor vehicle.