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Landlord mother dragged into bitter breakup

DEAR ABBY: My daughter is separated from her husband, who rents a room from me. Recently, without telling her, he dropped her from his insurance. Now she wants me to kick him out and she’s mad at me because I refuse to do it. She says it shows I approve of his behavior. She tells me that he’s no good, he used her and he hit on her girlfriend. She’s threatening that if I let him stay, we won’t be close anymore.

He pays me on time, and I hardly ever see him because he works at night. I need the rent money, and we have always gotten along great. I say this is my house and I should decide if he leaves. What do you think? — IN THE MIDDLE IN FLORIDA

DEAR IN THE MIDDLE: You need to explain to your daughter that the reason her husband is living with you is because you need the income. Even if you wanted, you might not be able to kick him out right away because of whatever eviction laws may exist in your state. This is your house, and the decision whether to evict him should be yours. However, if you continue allowing him to rent from you, it may cause a breach with your daughter that could be permanent.

DEAR ABBY: I often feel left out. This past weekend on Facebook I saw two co-workers and a former co-worker went on a weekend getaway. I wasn’t invited. Should I retaliate, or must I act like it doesn’t bother me? This isn’t the first time friends and co-workers have done things like this. I’ll comment on their post — “looks like fun” — but never get invited. How should I feel about this and what should I do? — OVERLOOKED IN MINNESOTA

DEAR OVERLOOKED: What you should “do” is recognize that your co-workers are not obligated to include you in anything outside of work. They may have mutual interests that bring them together, or chemistry that they don’t have with you. Instead of fuming and fantasizing about “retaliating” (which would be uncalled for and inappropriate), form relationships outside this circle of co-workers and friends, and do things on weekends for yourself that are satisfying. If you do, you will be less dependent upon these individuals and less disappointed if your relationships with them aren’t as close as you wish they were.

DEAR ABBY: I have been reading your column for many years, but haven’t seen this question before. I’m a senior citizen with a do-not-resuscitate order. I am concerned that if something were to happen to me and I was taken to a nearby hospital, they wouldn’t know I have one on file with my health care provider. Is there a way to let first responders know? Thank you for the continual service you provide. — LAST REQUEST IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR LAST REQUEST: Many individuals accomplish this by posting a notice near their bed, on the refrigerator or in their cellphone contact list designated as ICE (In Case of Emergency). There are also cards that can be carried in the wallet to alert the EMTs about the patient’s wishes. Your health care provider can tell you how to get one.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.


Singer-actor Kris Kristofferson is 85. Actor Michael Lerner is 80. Fox News analyst Brit Hume is 78. Singer Peter Asher (Peter and Gordon) is 77. Singer Howard “Eddie” Kaylan is 74. Singer-musician Todd Rundgren is 73. Actress Meryl Streep is 72. Actress Lindsay Wagner (“The Bionic Woman”) is 72. Pop singer Cyndi Lauper is 68. Actor-producer-writer Bruce Campbell is 63. Environmental activist Erin Brockovich is 61. Actor Amy Brenneman is 57. Author Dan Brown is 57. TV personality Carson Daly is 48. Actor Donald Faison (“Scrubs”) is 47.


Expand your mind, check out the possibilities and explore how you can use your skills in new ways that will bring in extra cash and reinvigorate you. It’s OK to be different and to follow your heart. Seek inspiration and put in the work to make your dreams come true.

CANCER (June 21-July 22) — Take the plunge and make changes that will motivate you to contribute to society. Be open to suggestions, but do what feels right and puts your mind at ease.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) — Think before you act. A premature move will be costly. Look for alternatives before making a final decision. Seek the most effective way to keep the peace.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — Emotions will surface when dealing with friends, relatives and peers. Put your time and effort into something you can do on your own to help ease stress.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — If you want to get ahead, don’t overreact. There is no point wasting time on situations and people you cannot change. Put your energy where it will encourage success and peace of mind.

SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — A change may not be welcome, but in the end, it will help you let go of things that are weighing you down and holding you back. Be open to new lifestyle ideas. Think before you speak.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — Taking baby steps will help you avoid making a mistake. Put your energy to work for you, and do your best to keep the peace. Concentrate on self-improvement.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — An honest, kind approach to partnerships and love will be more effective than trying to impress someone by overstating how well off you think you are.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — Being a straight shooter will win points, but it will deter some from participating in your endeavors. Let the chips fall where they may, and carry on with those who share your sentiments.

PISCES (Feb. 20-March 20) — Put more thought and energy into the things and people that make you happy. Plan a surprise for a loved one. A unique approach to health and fitness is in your best interest.

ARIES (March 21-April 19) — Keep money matters secret until you figure out how best to put your cash to work for you. Home improvements are favored if you can stick to a budget. Don’t pay a contractor; call on friends and family.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) — Limitations and frustration will set in if you take on too much or make promises that you can’t honor. Pay attention to what’s going on around you, and align yourself with someone who shares your goals.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) — Verify information and learn about something you want to pursue. Use your intelligence to get what you want instead of relying on someone to step in and take charge.


By Chuck Sheppard

Going Out in Style: Mourners at Phil McLean’s funeral in Wellington, New Zealand, first gasped, then laughed as his coffin, shaped like a giant cream doughnut, was brought into the chapel, the Associated Press reported on April 15. McLean had designed the special coffin with his cousin, Ross Hall, owner of Dying Art, a business in Auckland specializing in custom coffins. Over the last 15 years, Hall has fashioned a sailboat, a firetruck, a chocolate bar and Legos, among others. McLean’s widow, Debra, said her husband had considered himself a connoisseur of cream doughnuts, and the coffin “overshadowed the sadness. ... The final memory in everyone’s mind was of that doughnut and Phil’s sense of humor.” For himself, Hall said he had planned a red box with flames on it, but he changed his mind to a clear coffin, with him wearing nothing but a leopard-patterned G-string. “The kids say they’re not going,” he said.

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